It's Noon on October 9th
<Door Bell Rings> A perplexed look crosses my Face, It Always strange when your not expecting company or Pizza. <Door Bell Rings again Frantically> "Stop that!" I hear muffled thru the door I angrily fling the door open to find Six Children of various ages and clad in a multitude of ramshackle costumes holding pillowcases filled with paltry sums of candy or god knows what from my neighbors. "TRICK OR TREAT!!" they enthusiastically exclaim A wave of panic crosses my still foggy head, "Is that today, Fuck!" the voice inside me sounding as confused as a hungry baby in topless bar. " It can't be, WTF where'd these assholes come from" "You're a little early!" I expelled trying to remain polite until I could deduce if their parents were nearby to which I would have to have questioned their own sanity or at least offered them a current calendar. "So!" the biggest and obvious mastermind of this scheme retorted sharply with a wry eight year old smile that seemed to mock me just for challenging their exuberance. "So come back lat-.." "Like Tomorrow!" I could no sooner finish before the Dinosaur standing before me could wisely point out that I could go to the store and return with the goods in fact by tomorrow. "No man not tomorrow" desperately trying to hold back the laughter. "Closer to Halloween" and by closer you'd better not show your wise asses around here until the 31st I thought wishing I had a camera to create mugshots of the bandits. "Well we could trade something" the big one piped up quickly realizing the door would soon be returning to it's closed state and they would be leaving empty handed. " Like for your guitar!" as he pointed to my $700 Dean Electric Acoustic Guitar sitting nearby. The kid friendly words not coming fast enough to my mouth, all I could do was move to block the now entering enthusiastic ring leader. "Nah man I'm good, it's too early we don't have any candy yet come back on Hallowen" I spoke rapidly so as not to be out witted again. A wave of crushing sadness passed over all of their innocent faces, which in turn made me feel like the worlds biggest dick. "Sorry guys just come back later, we'll have all kinds of candy, OK?" "OK" and with that they all as if rehearsed many times, spun, bowed their heads, and sulked off my porch. And as if I didn't feel Confused and low enough the littlest of the bunch turns back to me. "You have nice steps Mister"
Recent Comments